


Loss

by Sephiratale



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-17
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-27 06:19:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6273127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sephiratale/pseuds/Sephiratale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inquisitor Tiael Lavellan learns how a piece of paper can shatter her world. Happens before Trespasser</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loss

**Author's Note:**

> I got this idea stuck in my head for a while. 
> 
> Thanks to martini-september for her great help :) 
> 
> You can find me on : http://sephiratales.tumblr.com/

_Reinforcements too late, clan destroyed, no survivor to be seen or found._

The words were harsh on the paper - but in reality the note was not meant for her, its purpose was to inform Leliana, nothing else.

Tiael scanned the words on the note she had stolen from the War Table once more, though they would change before her eyes, her clan still existing despite what the missive stated..

Earlier that day, she had been called to an urgent meeting. She had known something was wrong when she saw the faces of her advisors. Then, with great effort, Leliana had explained to her the horrible truth, laced with carefully chosen words by Josephine:

Her clan had been slayed by a group of mercenaries, and Leliana’s men had arrived too late. The redheaded woman had not stated it as such, but it was all Tiael could remember. She had listened to the report the way she always took in information, standing straight and showing nothing, despite the awful sensation of her heart cracking into two. She had felt the gaze of Cullen on her, but he said nothing, knowing she did not need more comforting words.

When the meeting was over, she had dismissed her advisors while trying to keep her voice steady, and left the War Room, snatching up the little paper in the process. She had stopped before the door leading to the great hall and descended the stairs; needing to be alone, to avoid the pity looks she knew she would meet.

Tiael then quickly walked to the hidden library, closed the door and had the time to light a candle before her legs stopped carrying her and she fell to her knees on the cold ground.

Now, her back against a shelf, she read over the parchment again and again. It was a nightmare, a living _nightmare_.

_Mamae, Papae, they couldn’t be…_

She still had a letter to finish and send to them; a letter where she would invite them and the clan to Skyhold, now that Corypheus had been defeated. The keeper, so patient with her stubbornness and her impulsive temper. Her cousins and their lovely children she had hugged so tightly before leaving for the Conclave. The hunters and the stupid inside jokes only she and they understood...

Her clan, her family, they _could not_ be _dead_.

Her heart broke into little pieces in her chest as uncontrollable hot tears ran down her cheeks. She sobbed silently, as her voice had gone completely dead. She had failed to protect them, too busy with the fight against Corypheus. And in turn, they had been killed by _cruel_ and _stupid_ shemlen.

_May the Dread Wolf catch their scents and tear them to pieces!_ she angrily thought. She would track every single one of them down and send them directly to the Fade with her Anchor, all the while cackling at the thought of fear demons devouring them whole.

“I curse you, shemlen!” she screamed aloud with all of her rage.

Hearing a few knocks on the door, she quickly stilled.

“Tiael?” It was Cullen. “I’m coming in.”

He opened the door and stayed at the threshold for a few seconds, carefully observing her. She turned her face away from him, but allowed him to enter. He closed the door and sat next to her, noticing the paper that was clutched in her hand.

Tiael was staring toward the ground, tears falling in silence. Cullen did not speak, for what could he say? That he was sorry for her loss? Those words were far from the truth and he knew she would hate them. She had always despised the pity people would put forth on her, she was far too proud for that sort of thing.

Slowly, he pushed a strand of her dark red hair behind her pointed ear.

“They are all dead, Cullen.” her voice was low with sadness. “I failed, I couldn’t protect them from the cursed shemlen. Creators, I… I hate them.”

Of course, Cullen knew she was not including _all_ humans in her words, but she needed to vent without any interruption or remark.

“I promised I would help them, that they would be safe…”

Tears cut her off, her knuckles going white as she squeezed her knees.

“Mamae, Papae, ir abelas…”

She burst into tears, unable to talk anymore. Cullen took her in his arms, her head against his shoulder, feeling her tears on the skin of his neck. One of her hands caught the fur of his mantle and gripped it with both strength and despair.

He kept her in his warm embrace, lightly kissing her forehead. It was all he could do for her right now, time for healing words would come later; but now she needed to come to terms with the terrible truth written on the paper.

Slowly, her sobs died down, her breath becoming less ragged. One of her hands still gripped his mantle, the other found Cullen’s large, gloved hand and entwined their fingers. She curled against him, her legs in his lap, suddenly looking very small and fragile.

“Thank you for being here.” she murmured.

“I said I would always be there for you.”

“Even when I curse humans?”

“Even when you curse humans.” he assured her.

She rose her head, meeting his golden amber eyes. He smiled a bit while his thumb idly stroked at her shoulder. She still had the paper in her hand - now only a miserable ball of wet ink. She considered in that moment that Leliana may be furious about the disappearance of it… but it was a stupid thought.

“How did you find me?” she asked, her voice beginning to retrieve her original tone.

“I know where you hide when you need to be truly be alone.” he explained with a soft voice. “I hope my presence does not bother you.”

“I’m relieved you’re here.” she said as she nuzzled her head against the fur of his mantle, closing her stinging eyes. “Just… hold me tight…please.”

He obeyed without hesitation, wrapping her in a calm and warm embrace. He felt the little jolts of her chest heaving, tears still managing to fall from her cheeks. They stayed like that for a time, ignoring the outside world. She was safe here, though Cullen’s arms could physically shield her from this awful pain.

Cullen became lost in his thoughts for quite some time. When he lowered his head he saw that exhaustion had won a silent battle against his lover. Slowly and with care, he succeeded to get to his feet without waking her. Sometimes he forgot she was quite light compared to the soldiers he had helped carry in the past.

Once outside the library, he came upon another fortune - Krem, who just so happened to be leaving the cellar.

Drinking something out of a mug, the Charger studied the couple briefly.

“Hard day?” he questioned.

“Yes.”

“I bet you could use some help with the doors.”

“That would be very kind.” the Commander answered.

Krem led the way, not asking anything or barging into the obviously private situation, which Cullen appreciated. The castle was silent as night had likely fallen by now; which was confirmed by the empty hall.

Cullen thanked the Maker for such, he did not need to return curious looks or explain what had happened.

When they reached the end of the hall, the Tevinter opened the door leading to Tiael’s private quarters.

“Do you still need me?”

“No, I can manage the rest. Thanks for your help, Lieutenant Aclassi.” Cullen replied with gratitude.

“You’re welcome. Hey, I know it’s obvious, but take care of our boss’ boss, Commander. And tell her we’re here if she needs a drink.”

“I will. Good night, Lieutenant Aclassi.”

“Good night, Commander Rutherford.”


End file.
